Nov 24, 2022
Got pesky household members?
Last week, we applied the three choices you always have to things you don’t like about your house. But what if the thing you don’t like is a pesky household member? Let’s face it. It’s hard to live with other people! Heck, sometimes I find it hard to live with myself!
So, let’s use the three choices to turn pesky household members into pleasures. Should you:
1. Live with it
2. Lobby for change
First, think about your soul’s purpose for the short term – what I call the little p. If you need help figuring out your little p, check out Episode 05.
Once you know your little p, ask if “living with it” makes sense. For example, is your soul is calling you to focus on something outside of the pesky relationship for now, say, a project at work or finishing school or caring for someone else? If it is, unless the pesky person is stopping you from focusing on this, your soul may be calling you to live with the pesky person, as is, until your other calling is complete.
But if your soul is calling you to address this pesky relationship, you are left with two choices: lobby for change or leave. Today, leave is often the go-to choice. And leave makes sense if there’s physical abuse for example. But for your garden variety pests, your soul will likely call you to try lobbying for change first.
“Oh, darn you, soul! It would be so much easier to leave or ask them to leave!” And maybe you will be called to leave eventually. But for now, if your soul is calling you to lobby for change there is spiritual purpose in your home and your relationship so lobbying for change will feed your soul.
“Good!” You say, “Now, I can tell that pesky person what they should do.” Not so fast. The choice to lobby for change in a relationship has two components. First, look within yourself to clarify the outcome you want and acknowledge how you need to change. Only then can you lovingly explain to your pesky person what you need from them and why it’s important to you.
As difficult as it may be, you’ll have the most success if you avoid blaming, listen fully and expect to repeat this process several times. This is all easy to say but I know from experience, very difficult to do. If you ever meet my husband, he’ll confirm that I’m not always great at this.
My wish for you is that the two of you grow spiritually through this process. If you feel moved, write about this below because sharing is good for your soul. Next time we’ll talk about: A Cat That Saved A Life.
Until next week, I wish you well on your journey.